Elmer and the Bureaucrats. (M4GW)
I love these guys! h/t Lance
9.4 out of 10 based on 100 ratings
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August 23rd, 2017 | Tags: Satire & Parody, Video, YouTube | Category: Funny stuff, Global Warming |  Print This Post | | Hurry Now and Save Trillions! A 500 trillion, gazillion dollar bill is coming for you unless you buy my solar-panel-techno-wind-battery gizmo NOW! Don’t miss out. You too, can be a world saving star for a bargain price. Free planet with nice weather thrown in. Offer ends at midnight. Seriously, have you always wanted to stop storms, vermin, disease, plagues, hunger, poverty, droughts, floods, and shrinking fish and chips? All of this and much more if you just pay up now, pay today, pay tomorrow, and hock your children’s future. Hands up who wants to be a hero? Who needs an economist to calculate the biggest bill you’ve ever seen? (It’s a record, the Largest Ever Bill in Four Million Years! ) World’s young face $535 trillion bill for climate The next generation will have to pay a $535 trillion bill to tackle climate change, relying on unproven and speculative technology. LONDON, 19 July, 2017 – One of the world’s most famous climate scientists has just calculated the financial burden that tomorrow’s young citizens will face to keep the globe at a habitable temperature and contain global warming and climate change – a $535 trillion bill. […] July 22nd, 2017 | Tags: Climate Money, Hansen (James), Satire & Parody | Category: Art, Funny stuff, Global Warming, Science Communication | Print This Post | | It’s the end of the world, and kittens will probably die too. Here’s another round of Global Panic. Horror part I: you will get stuck at airport-world Earlier this week, nearly 50 flights out of Phoenix were cancelled. At 120 degrees, the temperature forecast exceeded the airline’s 118 degrees maximum operating temperature. It’s difficult not to connect the delays to climate change…. It’s difficult not to blame climate change, after a generation of brainwashing. So Phoenix got to 48.9C which made it nearly as hot as Marble Bar, Australia, last year (when it was 49C). After 80 years of deadly global warming both towns were nearly as hot as Marble Bar was in 1922. As the world continues to warm, such plane delays will become more common, says Camilo Mora, an associate geography professor at the University of Hawaii at Manoa. And that’s just the beginning. And imagine what associate professors of geology might forecast on flight patterns circa 2080? You’ll never know if you read Fortune, where anyone can forecast climate bad-news, but prize-winning atmospheric scientists remain invisible if they stick to things they know, like […] June 27th, 2017 | Tags: Satire & Parody, Science (funding of) | Category: Big-Government, Global Warming | Print This Post | | Excellent comedy, if you haven’t already seen this. (Adapted from the Stage Play “Yes Prime Minister”) Yes Prime Minister Global Warming etc Part 1 from Aris Motas on Vimeo. Part II Yes Prime Minister Global Warming etc Part 2 from Aris Motas on Vimeo. Written by Antony Jay and Johnathan Lynn. BBC. h/t Waxing Gibberish and Friends of Science on Facebook. 9.8 out of 10 based on 102 ratings June 23rd, 2017 | Tags: Satire & Parody | Category: Funny stuff, Global Warming | Print This Post | | UPDATE: It is apparently funded by the Arts Council England. Couldn’t we guess? A new climate forcing, let’s call it Musikiness, will change the upper trough-o-sphere: Climate change data is being transformed into beautiful symphonies What is the sound of a dying planet? Translating hard facts into feeling is the issue of our age – and it is the task Climate Symphony have appointed themselves. A collective of artists and scientists, the London-based team are inspiring action by transforming climate change data into music. Listen at the link. Wait til you see what it can do. This is a pretty powerful tool: “Climate Symphony has developed a side-project – calling out lies in politics.” “We want to create a formal record,” she says, “A method of fact-checking the things Trump is saying, of finding distortions. It’s revealing. You’re looking at it, and listening to it, and you find that it’s distorted. It’s all distorted.” Musikiness could replace the US GAO. (Who needs auditors). But I worry about what happens if they use the wrong key. Finally, twenty years late, EcoWorriers care about transparency and “hard facts”: “…it isn’t just […] June 20th, 2017 | Tags: Satire & Parody | Category: Funny stuff, Global Warming | Print This Post | | I nearly headlined this: Climate grief group meets at someone’s house, Grist covers it. That’s pretty much all this program is. No one even counts to nine in this story. Depressed about climate change? There’s a 9-step program for that. Imagine Alcoholics Anonymous mixed with an environmental humanities course, and you’ll begin to get a sense of the “good grief” group started by Schmidt. Its goal is to help people cope with what’s been called “climate grief” — anxiety, sadness, depression, and other emotions provoked by awareness of the planet’s march toward a hotter,… future… What she found was that feelings of sadness and anxiety, and even literal nightmares, were common. Last year, with the help of her partner, Aimee Reau, Schmidt developed a nine-step program for building resiliency loosely modeled on AA… But this is big: About a dozen people attend each session and 50 subscribe to its mailings. If I get 12 people to my house, and have 12,000 subscribers, do you think Grist will write it up? Perhaps they have some good results? Perhaps not: Schmidt, who now works as an outreach coordinator at the environmental group HEAL […] April 9th, 2017 | Tags: Junk Science, Mental Health, Psychology, Satire & Parody | Category: AGW socio-political, Global Warming, Junk Science, Pseudoscience, Psychology, The Skeptics Handbook | Print This Post | | Righto. It’s time to blame climate change for causing British voters to vote against German rule of Britain. Back when the climate was ideal, the Brits would’ve been fine with that. Instead, even though the world has not warmed for 80% of the history of the EU, the EU is breaking up because of climate change. It’s not like Al Gore to draw conclusions from a long nebulous chain of dubious reasoning, but here’s how it goes: Coal gives off CO2, which causes droughts according to models that don’t work, and that made Syrians migrate. Everyone got unhappy and voted for Brexit. Climate change helped cause Brexit, says Al Gore Brexit was caused in part by climate change, former US Vice-President Al Gore has said, warning that extreme weather is creating political instability “the world will find extremely difficult to deal with”. Really, it’s all about coal, cars and plastic bags. If the EU had only put in more wind farms, the UK would have voted to stay in. If it weren’t for a lack of rain in the middle east, the British Isles would want to leave decisions about immigration, fishing and light bulbs to their friends […] We need more of this sort of thing. :- ) … by Ray Stevens — The Global Warming Song. A song about a “Gullible Venture”. Top Job! h/t Ian. Thanks! And RedPower 9.4 out of 10 based on 41 ratings Tragic news about moose today — the climate used to be the same for 65 million years, so moose are unprepared to deal with the sudden extra degree on the modern Earth-Perfect-Thermostat. JACKSON, Wyo. – Global warming might cause moose to freeze to death in Yellowstone National Park. Don’t cry. Moose are declining: The reason for the decline is complicated. Wolves have taken moose, and grizzly bears have been expanding their presence. But climate could be the biggest challenge. Part of the problem is ticks. A moose with too many of the parasites during the winter can lose its hair and freeze to death. We all know, before Columbus there was one perfect quota of moose, bear, wolf. The numbers didn’t vary from the sacred Gaia Triangle Ratio (whatever it was). There were no cycles. Moose never declined. Then man came, used air conditioners in Florida, caused tick outbreaks in Saskatoon, and da fur fell off doz’ mooses. Cold moose! In general, moose are simply better adapted to colder temperatures. When it’s too warm, they spend more time in the shade trying to cool down and less time feeding, Courtemanch said. You might have […] October 18th, 2016 | Tags: Canada, Evolution, Satire & Parody | Category: Global Warming | Print This Post | | In the last 120 years in Perth there has never been a September as cold as this one. We know that thanks to Chris Gillham, who has been tracking Western Australian weather in detail for years at WAClimate.net. The headline in The West Australian today was Perth shivers through it’s coldest ever September. For some reason (I can’t think why) the extreme weather journalists did not mention climate change (has that ever happened on a hottest ever record story?). It’s so unusually cold here that wheat farmers, only weeks away from harvest*, are struggling with frost damage on crops. They are making snowmen from the frosts. It is supposed to be rapidly heating up but it is three degrees below normal. Given the freak weather, Will Steffen immediately announced that “This is a prelude to a disturbing future. And it’s only going to get worse if we don’t address climate change.” No. Wait. Scratch that. That was South Australia, where one bad storm was caused by coal fired electrons. A record cold month is just weather. Curiously, The Bureau of Meteorology(BOM) announced it was the coldest ever September for Perth since 1994 when records started at Mt Lawley, and […] October 1st, 2016 | Tags: Australian temperatures, BOM, Cooling & cold snaps, Gillham (Chris), Perth, Satire & Parody, Western Australia (WA) | Category: Global Warming | Print This Post | | William M. Briggs would be the smartest, funniest and best informed Climate Editor the New York Times ever had. He’d put the Times back on the map as the frontline of debate. As such, there is no way he will get this job (and this is a real application). He’s the perfect candidate — the Statistician to the Stars has published actual papers on climate models, uncertainty, and yet also writes with wit and humor. Guys like William are the reason the new media is killing the old. A few snippets here, the whole letter at Brigg’s Blog http://wmbriggs.com: New York Times Is Looking For A Climate Change Editor. That’s Me! It is the Times’s tremendous luck that I’m at liberty, ready, and willing to take on this monumental task. Together we can screw people’s heads back on straight and get them to worry about something really important. Like the rise of politics dictating science and the corrupting influence of money. I am an actual bona fide scientist. I have published actual articles in the Journal of Climate, among many others. My specialty is in the value and goodness of models, and the expense and badness […] September 14th, 2016 | Tags: Briggs (William), Satire & Parody | Category: Funny stuff, Media-matters | Print This Post | | Somewhere in the world, a whole town is missing their tea-leaf readers. The Physics tells us (practical beats us over the head) that more CO2 will mean warmer nights. It is a 97% certified mantra that warm nights are a fingerprint of man-made global warming.* Well don’t look now, but CO2 causes cold nights too (and get this… on the East Coast). Extreme-weather winters are becoming more common in US Recent years have seen a dramatic increase in the simultaneous occurrence of extremely cold winter days in the Eastern United States and extremely warm winter days in the West, according to a Stanford-led study published in Journal of Geophysical Research Atmospheres. Human-caused emissions of greenhouse gases are likely driving this trend, the researchers report. Used to be that single seasons were “weather” and thirty year trends were “science”– now all they need is a single repeated season and half a country: “Looking back at temperature data from the past 35 years, we’ve found that in fact 2013-2014 and 2014-2015 did have the biggest difference in winter temperature between the East and West.” This is pretty freaky — can you imagine how smart these guys must […] September 3rd, 2016 | Tags: Climate Models, Satire & Parody | Category: Global Warming | Print This Post | | Feel the guilt in the Gaia religion: New map shows alarming growth of the human footprint “Humans are the most voracious consumers planet Earth has ever seen. With our land-use, hunting and other exploitative activities, we are now directly impacting three-quarters of the Earth’s land surface,” said Professor Laurance. And three-quarters of 30% of the world is a fifth of the world. But algae will be feeling pretty cheezed right now. They wrecked up the whole atmosphere — but get no credit. Algae define the term “voracious consumer”. The pristine state of the atmosphere was transformed forever, plus the schmucks made oil. But nothing changes the planet quite like a 10-20km wide rock dropping in and wiping out 90% of all species on Earth. That’s a “footprint”. Note the magical 97% appears again — a sacred number of “certainty”: A James Cook University scientist says a new map of the ecological footprint of humankind shows 97 per cent of the most species-rich places on Earth have been seriously altered. 9.3 out of 10 based on 52 ratings […] August 26th, 2016 | Tags: Asteroids, Satire & Parody | Category: Global Warming | Print This Post | | Star discovered in our solar system. The Onion, ahead of the worlds scientific societies, reports on a “watershed moment” in scientific history: Scientists Trace Heat Wave To Massive Star At Center Of Solar System PASADENA, CA—Groundbreaking new findings announced Monday suggest the record-setting heat wave plaguing much of the United States may be due to radiation emitted from an enormous star located in the center of the solar system. Scientists believe the star, which they have named G2V65, may in fact be the same bright yellow orb seen arcing over the sky day after day, and given its extreme heat and proximity to Earth, it is likely not only to have caused the heat wave, but to be responsible for every warm day in human history. The “tremendous ball of energy” may explain everything from drying puddles to hot car seats. Governments will have to act, though the path is unclear: When asked if anything could be done to prevent or counteract the star’s heat production, Kivens expressed skepticism. “No, for the foreseeable future, I think we’re locked into orbit with this thing,” he said. “Although the star seems to […] You know it makes sense — air conditioners are as dangerous as suicide bombers. They must be stopped. Next up, refrigerators… Here’s a petition you can support: Do it for the children, for the future. Remove air conditioning from all US State Department property. WHEREAS, Secretary of State John F. Kerry has suggested that air conditioners are as big a threat as ISIS, and WHEREAS, it is the duty of our elected and appointed government officials to lead by example, 9.3 out of 10 based on 108 ratings Let’s get those priorities right: Secretary of State John Kerry said in Vienna on Friday that air conditioners and refrigerators are as big of a threat to life as the threat of terrorism posed by groups like the Islamic State. Depends what you mean by “life” I guess. Some like the world 2 degrees cooler, and some prefer to keep their heads. “As we were working together on the challenge of [ISIS] and terrorism,” Kerry said. “It’s hard for some people to grasp it, but what we–you–are doing here right now is of equal importance because it has the ability to literally save life on the planet itself.” It’s good to know the US will be well defended against an invasion of badly gassed fridges. Since warming is mostly beneficial this threat is at the Defcon-Toothfairy level. And probably not that high. The extra energy trapped by HFC refrigerant gasses most likely just reroutes and escapes to space through water vapor emissions. 9.2 out of 10 based on 65 ratings […] July 24th, 2016 | Tags: HFC-23, Satire & Parody | Category: Big-Government, Global Warming | Print This Post | | Don’t turn on the air conditioner. You might make someone a racist: Climate change is spawning injustice, racism, intolerance and wars, according to author and political activist Naomi Klein. Got moral decay? High Priestess Naomi Klein, expert psychoanalyst, says blame the weather. John Vidal, writer for The Guardian, believes her: “It is not about things getting hotter and wetter but things getting meaner and uglier, unless we change the corrosive values that are pitting people against each other,”… See, some people think mums and dads are supposed to teach values, but really it’s a humidity thing. (Obviously, the way to fight racism is with biogas. …and maybe ethanol.) Naomi’s thesis reminds us that when the weather was ideal — like in 1915, there were no wars and everyone liked everyone. She urged people to make the links between climate change and conflict. “Anti-austerity people rarely talk about climate change. And climate change people rarely talk about war. Overcoming these disconnections is the most pressing task for anyone occupied with social justice. Yes, stop ISIS now — send in the windmills! “There is no clean, safe way to run an […] Shame investors who manage tens of billions are not good at assessing risk. They are missing something big and obvious: Half of leading investors ignoring climate change – study Reuters: A report by the Asset Owners Disclosure Project (AODP), a not-for-profit organisation aimed at improving the management of climate change, found that just under a fifth of the top investors – or 97 managing a total of $9.4 trillion (6.4 trillion pounds) in assets – were taking tangible steps to mitigate global warming. These include investing in low polluting assets or encouraging the companies they invest in to be greener. How low is this bar. Less than one-fifth are doing anything “tangible”. To even get the tally up to a half “not ignoring climate change”, the researchers had to include a category called “first steps”, nothing tangible mind you. Perhaps someone sent an email? Anyone might think that four fifths of top investors think climate change is a complete non-event. A further 157 investors managing a total of $14.2 trillion were taking “first steps” towards addressing climate change, while 246 managing $14 trillion were doing nothing at all, the report said. […] May 3rd, 2016 | Tags: Climate Money, Satire & Parody | Category: Global Warming | Print This Post | | History buff: Cook, who believes in learning from the great men of the past, dresses up as a beloved figure from the golden age of Consensus Science. This timeline, like the climate debate, is best taken with whiskey. Strictly for climate-tragics, it’s layered deep, well aged, and may not make any sense at all. It’s art. It’s been a looong time coming (the second longest draft post ever under development on this blog). Thanks to Brad Keyes. Smile :- ). — Jo Introduction by J. Cook The great Hoofnagle Brothers define climate Menshevism as a trick to ‘create the illusion of debate.’ Opponents of the climate don’t even need to win the debate—though they usually do—they just need the audience to think we’re debating. (Which is why we must never, ever do so.) Please enjoy as Brad Keyes, my boss at Climate Nuremberg, looks back on some of the most colorful, least edifying moments in a decades-long debate that never happened. — J. Cook Twisted Tree Heartrot Hill 2016 _________________ c. 1850 AD Fossil fuel revolution begins Environmentalists hail the switch to alternative energies—coal, natural […] April 1. A new anthropology paper looks at the Academic Ape and the way it guards its territory and resources, not surprisingly rejecting unpaid contributions from outside academia as a threat to their perceived status and income. The hypothesis predicts that the more qualified and erudite the outsider is, the more vicious the response will be, especially if the highly qualified outsider gives their labor freely. The Academic Ape: Instinctive aggression and boundary enforcing behaviour in academia Published on Amazon in Kindle version. Two areas of territorial aggression are offered as examples — archaeology and climate (you couldn’t see that coming). This new paper looks at how the academic boundary enforcement compares to things like union disputes, and patterns of ape behaviour (See Table 1). An interesting paper. The climate debate is so hostile people don’t even speak English — “denier” There is no accurate definition of “denier” in English in a climate science debate, yet professors use it, and importantly other professors in virtually every other field don’t seem to mind. A survey of 5,000 skeptics shows almost all agree with most mainstream statements used in the climate debate — i.e. that CO2 is increasing, […] |
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